So. You got burnt out from trudging through the capitalistic system, and found yourself smack dab in the middle of the self-discovery path. Maybe you already knew (or discovered along the way) that you were neurodivergent or queer and found a lot of solace in your spiritual journey and understanding yourself better and better.
On the way, you encountered phrases like “authentic self” and “higher self” and maybe you started to replace what society had told you that you “should” be with a cultivated “high vibe” version. But maybe you’re finding yourself now, years later, still in a seemingly endless cycle of self-discovery, wondering… when do I get to just enjoy what I’ve discovered instead of always searching for the new, improved, more authentic version of me? Well- let’s talk about it.
What is self-discovery?
From Oxford Dictionary: the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character.
I put this here because I have a hyperfixation on words and a love affair with being understood/understanding things (including myself). Not because I think you’re an idiot who needs an English lesson.
In my personal narrative, self-discovery literally became my full time job because I uh… coach for a living. I was always a “self-starter” so it felt natural to me to replace my performance reviews with intensive self-reflection that was much more personal because it was an intimate critique of whether or not I was matching up with who I was destined and designed to be.
Why Do We Consider The Self-Discovery Journey Never Ending?
There is a relentless pursuit to answer the question: who am I?
I often felt unsure or unsteady in the answer. And assumed I must need to learn a new skill to understand and discover myself through a new lens. Because I was not on the correct path of self-discovery. I was not gaining the correct insight.
The concept that “the journey of self-discovery never ends” isn’t completely untrue. Our lives will continue to change (hopefully), so we ourselves will change in response. For some this will dissuade the feeling that they must achieve a 5D level of enlightenment, very quickly, in order for anything that they do to matter.
However, sometimes we will still feel that anxious pull to keep searching to find that “next level” version of ourselves.
Some days you may feel like a mad scientist mixture of someone who needs everything to be exactly right, but also wants to throw every rule out the window, plus make crazy art that no one understands just because and also have every answer to everything everyone ever asks you. But I promise that it can be done.
Real Life Example of Shifting The Self-Discovery Gears
I was inspired to write this post when I read Adult Drama by Natalie Beach. It’s a collection of essays that I highly recommend you check out because it has some banger lines. Including: “How many times am I expected to come of age? What if I didn’t need to go on another journey of self-discovery because I already knew who I was? And if I’m not running around constantly wondering: who am I? What else might I think about?”
Adult Drama and Other Essays by Natalie Beach (pss – the library is your friend to read this completely for freeeeee)
If you weren’t plagued by the thought: who am I? What else might you think about?
3 Thoughts To Settle Into When Self-Discovery Isn’t Your Full Time Job
What hobbies do I have?
For a long time, even though I enjoyed reading- I only read personal development books. Most of the things I loved had been co-opted to be productive or to impress someone. Take a breather. Do something badly or just because.
How much art do I create (for funsies?)
Even my (not very artsy) mechanic partner does silly stuff on his phone in his spare time like make photo edits of our kids. Your phone has a plethora of free art apps. The dollar tree is a gold mine of cheap art supplies. Or hey- sing in the shower.
What do I like about myself?
Okay so everyone is all like “love yourself and trust yourself and have compassion blah blah blah”. But if you’ve been pouring over self-help books and journaling for 4+ years I’m betting that you already understand that. So instead: hone in on one thing you like and really relish that.
Key Takeaways
You may have been feeling caught between a rock and a hard place. Between a beginner and someone who actually has gone on the journey of self-discovery but doesn’t know what to do next. While the adage of the “self-discovery journey not ending” is technically true- it doesn’t mean that you have to continually analyze yourself for limiting beliefs or how close you are to achieving your “next level”.
Instead, try settling into what you are enjoying about this moment and this version of yourself and allowing what you have learned integrate with the natural changes you’ll experience in your life.
1:1 COACHING
Cool As You Are
You know you’re cool af and you want to feel that truth live & breathe & exist IRL with someone who won’t give you another generic “jUSt tRUst youRsELf MOrE” line so you can finally settle into that cool, comfortable, a little cringey, very human badass you know you’re here to be.
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